This is why I hate the drop-by
Jehovah’s witnesses – If you wake up someone’s kid, these women will cut you
Maisy – naked story.
no bra
The End
NO, not the end of this blog, although my infrequent posting may have indicated otherwise.
I typed THE END a few days ago when I finished my manuscript revisions. I fought the urge to change to a fancy font and use a different color, purple or green perhaps, and just typed it the regular way.
And wow, did it feel good.
I thought I’d post some stats for anyone who is interested in what the process of writing a novel was like for me.
Word count: 77,293.
Pages: 366
Number of months to write first and second drafts: approximately 7
Number of months to revise. approximately 4
Number of beta readers (so far): 2
Number of beta readers who are waiting to read the manuscript: approximately 7
Genre: commercial women’s fiction, written in an alternating first person dual narrative.
So, I’m done right? No. Now I start polishing. The author who has been beta reading and editing for me has provided a line by line critique (because she’s totally awesome) and every time she sends me a batch of pages, I print, 3-hole punch, and put them in a big binder. Her notes are hand-written in the margins. This is now my editing bible. I am going to sit down with that binder tomorrow and read the entire novel from start to finish, making my own notes in the margins. Then I’ll do the final editing. I’m not sure how long that will take, but I’m estimating about 5 weeks.
Also, I have lots of good news to share. First of all, it is very slow at work so I requested a change in my work schedule from full-time to part-time. I am a contract human resources recruiter at a large mortgage company and when those interest rates tick up, everything comes to a screeching halt. My boss is super cool and she said no problem so now I don’t work on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I just changed to the new schedule last week. I couldn’t be happier. Four months of getting up at 5:00 a.m. to write was starting to take its toll a little bit so I am very grateful that I have the flexibility to make these kinds of changes. Now I can put the offspring on the bus on Tuesdays and Thursdays and write until they come home at 4:00.
The other great things are writing related. I follow lots of agents and other writers on Twitter. If you’re writing a novel, Twitter is where you want to be because there are lots of great chats you can participate in. And unlike Facebook, you can follow just about anyone without them having to “accept” you first. I pick up a lot of great information on Twitter by following people in the writing community. One of the people I follow is agent Laura Bradford of the Laura Bradford Literary Agency. She held a drawing on New Year’s Eve and used a random number generator to pick 5 followers (she has 5,000) to win either books, or a critique of their first chapter.
Dudes, I totally won! How freaking awesome is that? Especially because I never win jack.
So anyway, we were supposed to e-mail her to let her know if we wanted the books or the critique. I chose the critique, of course, and told her I’d be sending it on or before the first of March. This is such a valuable prize for someone about to throw themselves into the querying process. Having an agent critique your first chapter, and point out what isn’t working or needs to be changed before you start sending the manuscript out can save you from some rejection heartache down the road. I’m super excited.
Another cool thing that happened is Sara Megibow, another awesome agent, hosted a “First Pages” Writer’s Digest Webinar last Thursday. It was a 90 minute class, broadcast over the Internet, and she talked about what NOT to do in the first pages of your novel. With this webinar, you also receive a critique from Sara of your first three pages. Squee! So, my pages will be sent this week (my beta is taking a look at the polished version and as soon as she turns them around, I’ll send them to Sara). So, having two agents look at your work before you start sending it out is, as I already mentioned, a really valuable thing.
So, that’s whats been going on. I still have some work to do but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s been a good ride so far, and I’ve experienced true joy while writing this manuscript. Writing makes me happy.
And I’m close to checking that item off my bucket list. The one about writing a full-length novel and querying every agent who reps my genre.
And that feels pretty damn good.
Have a great week, blogging friends!
Tracey
P.S. Dear God, I also saw the Eagles in concert a couple months ago and that’s on my bucket list, too. I have lots more I haven’t checked off so don’t be gettin’ any ideas, K?
Re-post Wednesday
So my friend Tay and her friend Ney started a new blog called Oh So Cheesy. You can read it if you click here.
That’s right. A whole freaking blog dedicated to the yum that is cheesy pasta. Now that Tay and Ney have started their blog, I’ll have no shortage of macaroni and cheese recipes to choose from.
Taylor asked me if she could link to the post where I called Ina Garten the devil. At first I couldn’t find it and I was all wtf happened to my Ina post? Then I remembered it had some *cough*yeti*cough* info in it and it was part of the big Yeti purge.
So I found it, edited it, and voila!
Here you go Taylor!
P.S. Everybody make Mac ‘n Cheese for dinner, ‘K?
The other day, when the offspring and I were browsing the shelves at Barnes and Noble, I noticed a stack of Ina Garten cookbooks. I love Ina, and I love her show on the Food Network, The Barefoot Contessa. I decided to add two of her cookbooks to the already heavy pile of books in my arms because I’ve been looking for some new recipes.
I noticed when I was flipping through them that she had a recipe for Cosmopolitans. I liked the fact that her recipe was for a whole pitcher of cosmopolitans because I’m lazy and Ina’s method seemed preferable to having to mix drinks up one by one.
Anyway, we invited Trish over for dinner last night. We were making baby back ribs on the grill, roasted potatoes, and salad. “This would be a perfect time to try out Ina’s recipe,” I thought. The recipe makes six and Trish and I can each have three which is a perfectly respectable amount, right? (No, stupid). The ribs take quite a while so I thought Trish and I could sip one or two while we were waiting for dinner to be ready.
Anyway, back to the cosmopolitans and why I think Ina is a drunk.
Usually I just follow the recipe on the back of the bottle of Cointreau (just like Bethenny Frankel of The Real Housewives of New York except I’m not trying to pass them off as my own original drink. Maybe no one else has noticed your blatant rip-off, but I’m onto you Bethenny).
The recipe I follow is 1 part cointreau to 2 parts vodka, cranberry juice, and fresh lime juice. I usually use 1 shot of vodka and a 1/2 shot of cointreau, cranberry juice, and extra lime juice. These measurements keep me from getting totally spun out and doing something stupid. Usually. Most of the time.
Anyway, that’s not important. And even though Ina Garten is the devil I am going to admit that I was a complete fucktard for not using any common sense whatsoever. Because I was completely sober when I was mixing up the pitcher, it should have occurred to me that Ina really, really likes vodka. A lot.
Check out her recipe: 
Do you notice anything? Like the fact that the recipe calls for two cups of vodka and one cup of cointreau? That’s a shitload of liquor, people (I realize this is not a very good scan and the words are kind of blurry but I’m not messing with the scanner anymore because my head still feels like there are little men in there pounding my brain with jackhammers).
Back to last night. I had only drank drunk consumed about half of my first drink when I started having to speak slowly and really concentrate on what was coming out of my mouth. That seemed odd to me. Also my lips felt tingly. Trish said, “Hey, these are pretty good!” I said, “I know!” We moved on to our second round. An hour or two later, after finishing our delicious rib dinner, Dave said “I think you should just have a beer next.” And I’m all “Why would I have a beer when I’ve got these martinis?” Duh.
Dave put me, and the offspring, to bed at 9:00 which is why I’ve come up with a few other names for Ina Garten’s cosmopolitans: Memory Erasers, Hospital Grade Anesthesia Cocktails, and Dude, I Can’t Remember My Middle Name.
Consider this blog post a cautionary tale. Others may have recently bought this cookbook and they might be thinking about making what Ina calls a cosmopolitan and what I call fucking rocket fuel. I’m just trying to help others learn from my mistake.
You’re welcome.
‘Twas the night before Christmas Eve, Twitter style
Wow, look at this. Two blog posts in two days. Amount of work done on manuscript, however? None.
And before I forget, I actually guest blogged over at Totally Tay yesterday. Why? Because she’s awesome and her I Believe posts are awesome too. She’s going to beta read my manuscript and I’m hopefully going to meet her in real life when I fly to Arizona in April to visit Stefani and Mindy. She calls me an author on her blog, which is stretching the truth quite a bit, but I love that Taylor believes in me. Click over and check it out.
In preparation for the winter storm all the newscasters were wetting themselves about, Trish decided to spend the night at our house last night. David and I host dad and Debby, George and Stef and their kids, and Trish on Christmas Eve and Trish didn’t want to risk driving through the snow to get here tonight. She’s a total shit driver when the sun is shining and the pavement is dry so deciding not to risk the snow and ice was probably wise.
She showed up about 4:00 yesterday dragging enough crap to make me wonder just how long she actually planned on staying. The offspring tackled her immediately and Chloe got so excited she peed on the dining room floor. This is typical.
Trish played the board game Sorry with the offspring while I amused myself on Twitter. “Kids, does your mom ever move out of that chair or put down that stupid laptop?” Trish asked.
“No, she’s on it, like, all the time,” said the smart-mouthed eleven-year-old.
“Yeah, all the time,” the sassy eight-year-old said, chiming in.
“For your information, we’ve spent the whole day together,” I reminded them. “We made cookies and I took you to Macaroni Grill for lunch. Most kids probably had baloney sandwiches and you two were sucking down Italian sodas like I’m made of money. I haven’t been on my laptop all day.”
And their father was at a bar drinking in the middle of the afternoon with Jack and Tom but nobody said anything about that.
I already tweeted our evening but I’m going to re-post my tweets here too because I’m in a hurry and you’ll get the general idea of how our evening went down.
Tweet #1 My twin sister just insisted I make her one of my famous cosmopolitan martinis. #happyalcoholidays!
Tweet #2 Just told my twin sister not to spill her awesome martini on my beautiful couch.
Tweet #3 My twin sister just spilled her effing martini on my beautiful couch. It’s all of 7:03 CST time and *someone* is drunk.
Tweet #4 My twin sister and I are fraternal. Two different eggs, people.
Tweet #5 Now my twin sister is insisting we watch some bullshit show called Million Dollar Money Drop.
Tweet #6 My sister has a martini in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Say it with me: Double fister sister.
Tweet #7 Now she’s pulled my offspring over to the dark side with her. They love Million Dollar Money Drop.
Tweet #8 Just told my twin sister: “Spill martini on my *other* couch, and I’m kicking your ass.”
Tweet #9 Twin sister and offspring are now watching Million Dollar Money Drop in the basement. I am all alone upstairs. #yay!
Tweet #10 My twin sister and the offspring are screaming and cheering from the basement like Santa just showed up w/gifts & booze.
Tweet #11 My twin sister just sent my 11 year old upstairs with an empty cocktail shaker. “Aunt Trish wants a refill,” he said.
Tweet #12 “Aunt Trish is fun,” the 11 year old said. “Tell Aunt Trish she’s switching to water after this drink.” #buzzkill
Tweet #13 Now my 8 year old is juicing a lime for my twin sister. I give up. #happyalcoholidays #whereismywine?
Tweet #14 All I can say is I hope Santa is getting a load of the shiz going down in my house right now. #totalanarchy
Tweet #15 Oh sweet baby Jesus. My twin sister’s totally annoying and pretend southern accent has reared its ugly head. #livedinTx
Tweet #16 My twin sister just busted out a furby. 1999 called. They want their hot toy back. #regiftfail #noonewantsit
Tweet #17 My twin sister just informed me she has Elmo doing the Chicken Dance on tap for someone next year. #Ipeedalittle
The sauvignon blanc was starting to impede the punctuation and spelling of my tweets so I signed off. Dave finally came home from the bar after six hours, we put the offspring to bed, and Trish and I called it a night an hour later.
The kitchen looked like a bomb went off when I came downstairs this morning, but what the hell.
My twin sister and I had a good time.
Happy Holidays!
Have You Ever?
Laid awake until two in the morning turning over plot points in your head?
Found yourself telling little white lies to people you love? For example, “I’m sorry I can’t go to your party/open house/dinner/sporting event/concert because I’m busy” except busy really means you just want to work on your manuscript instead?
Spent upwards of three hundred dollars on ink cartridges and printer paper so you can edit on a hard copy?
Given up newspapers, magazines, and most television shows (except DVR’d episodes of Glee and Modern Family) so you can work on your manuscript?
Sat in a chair with your laptop muttering lines of dialogue out loud so it looks like you’re talking to yourself?
I answered yes to all of these questions which is why I haven’t posted anything for two months.
Revising the manuscript is the hardest writing I’ve ever done. I’ve been revising 50-60 pages at a time and then e-mailing them to my super awesome author-beta. Revising includes adding, deleting, moving things around, making sure each sentence flows, and that every single scene moves the story forward. It’s amazing how much my novel has changed during the revision process.
I have about 40 pages left to revise. My progress is slow because I can only work on the manuscript for 1.5-2 hours a day (usually from 5:30 AM until 7 or 7:30). Then I go to my real job. I’m very lucky, though, because I usually have at least one long writing day on the weekend where I can get in 6-8 hours. Sometimes I have to lock the door so Dave and the offspring will leave me alone but generally, they’re pretty good about staying out of my hair.
My word count is 80,000, give or take. I don’t expect that to change much, even with final editing and polishing. That’s the number I was shooting for so I’m happy it worked out.
In February, I’ll start final edits which will incorporate feedback from my beta and Trish. Trish has been a wonderful (and totally unexpected) early reader. She paid me a nice compliment when she said she couldn’t wait for the next batch of pages. “I want to keep reading and I don’t even read books,” she said.
Once the manuscript is polished, I’ll send it out to 5-6 more betas. I plan on taking a month away from the manuscript to get some distance so while they’re reading it, I thought I’d make some changes to this blog.
I am planning on splitting it three ways:
One blog will be funny in the ‘hood. Remember when I used to write amusing things on the Internet? I’d like to do that again but because I sometimes use the f-word, I thought it would be a good idea to have a separate blog with posts about my sometimes alcohol-fueled dipshittery personal life.
The second blog will be written anonymously and not linked to this one as I do not wish to be sued by the *jackholes I’ll be writing about.
And the third will be my www.traceygarvisgraves.com address. It will focus on fiction writing.
Making these changes will keep me busy during the nail-biting querying process which I’ll start in March or April.
So. That’s what I’ve been up to. I’ve really missed this blog and I appreciate anyone who is still stopping by to check for new posts. Thank you.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and happy new year. I am off work today and tomorrow and three days next week. I’m looking forward to spending time with my family and getting in a little extra writing.
I hope Santa is good to you all. I heard he’s bringing me a Kindle (okay, it’s not really Santa, it’s Dave) and I can’t wait to start loading it with books.
Cheers,
Tracey
* My neighbor Julie came up with jackhole. It’s my new favorite word.
Fiction Thursday (or just insert whatever the hell day you want)
One of these days, it would be nice not to have to start my blog posts by apologizing.
But, sorry.
I know I’ve been really MIA lately, but after working forty hours a week, and making sure Dave and the offspring have food and clean underwear, I only have a little bit of time to write, and I’m concentrating on manuscript revisions. I am almost to the halfway point, and I am so ready to be done. It’s not that I don’t like revisions, because I love this part, but revising a novel is much harder than writing a first or second draft, and one of these days, I’d like to get the rest of my life back.
This is just my opinion, and I’m not sure if other writers feel this way, but revising means you have to fix everything that isn’t working. You can’t say to yourself, “I’m not thrilled with this section, but I’ll clean it up during revisions because, um, that would be now.
The wonderful thing, however, is that after the revision stage, you’re one step closer to final editing and polishing, and I’m really looking forward to that.
For those of you who will be beta reading for me, expect the manuscript sometime in February or March. I’d like to start querying in April, if possible. I started writing this book last April so if I meet all my deadlines, it will have taken about a year from start to finish. Not too bad considering I worked full time for much of it.
Also, I can’t say enough about my wonderful author-beta reader. I am absolutely indebted to her, with no idea how to repay. I am getting ready to send her my next batch of pages soon (on Halloween), and her feedback on the previous installments has been nothing short of spectacular. She is that good.
She paid me the highest compliment by writing this on the last page I sent her “Now I want the next 50 pages right away because I’m definitely hooked. Take your time, of course, but just a kudos, this is where you want the reader.”
Feedback like that is why I never hit snooze when the alarm goes off at 5:00 AM. I get out of bed, fire up the laptop, and get one page closer.
Thanks for still stopping by. I really appreciate it!
Tracey
Fiction Saturday
Totally glossing over the fact that there was no Fiction Friday last week and that this week’s installment is happening on Saturday.
First things first, Snooki sold a book. Say it with me: WTF?
It’s bad enough that Tori Spelling and Lauren Conrad are crowding the shelves at my local Barnes and Noble. But now Snooki? Really, seriously?
I mentioned in my last post (eons ago) that I found a fabulous beta reader (okay actually, she found me on Absolute Write.
I was blown away by the amount of time she spent on my manuscript. I sent her a PDF of the first fifty pages and she edited them, scanned them, and sent them back. On the left margin, she made a note of the things she liked,
The are two things driving me right now: my beta reader’s feedback is the first. She said she thought I had a real chance with this story. I wasn’t sure how the premise would be received, or if it would “work”, so it’s very encouraging to hear that. To me, the writing can be fixed, but if the premise doesn’t work, you’ve got a problem. And I am firmly in the “story versus writing” camp. I want to read a great story, and if it keeps me turning the pages, you won’t see me getting all highbrow about the writing. People love to criticize Stephenie Meyer’s writing, but if Twilight can make me stay up until 2:00 AM reading, she’s doing somethign right (and probably laughing her ass off all the way to the bank).
I’ll write more about the premise as I get closer to querying (and I’ll post the query letter too so you can see what I’m sending to agents).
This has been the most amazing experience and I encourage anyone who’s ever wanted to write a novel to, in the spirit of Nike, just.do.it.
I probably won’t be querying until after the first of the year which means my novel took about nine months to write. I’m rewarding myself with a Kindle as soon as I type THE END.
Fiction Friday
Good Morning and happy Friday everyone!
Once again, I apologize for blowing off this blog but I have a good excuse.
I got a new job and I started last week.
As some of you already know, I went back to work last year at the offspring’s school. I have a degree in business, not education, but there wasn’t anything available in my field of HR recruiting (which is what I used to do before having kids). I worked as a teacher’s associate in the 8th and 9th grade building and met a lot of nice people and got really attached to the students (and I just went out to dinner with some of my fellow teacher co-workers Tuesday night – we had a great time – I miss them).
Anyway, I decided not to return to the school because I wanted to see if there might be something that, you know, utilized my prior experience, and I was extremely fortunate to find a contract recruiting position at a local West Des Moines company. It happened a little faster than I had anticipated (I’m certainly not going to complain about that), but I still had a relaxing two weeks after the offspring started school to sit down and write (which is how I was able to finish the second draft of my book).
The contract is expected to last anywhere from 6-18 months and that’s perfect for me. I am really liking it so far and I can’t believe I’m saying this but it’s been nice to return to corporate America (but maybe that’s because I’m just, shhh, visiting.)
The only drawback to this whole OMG-I-got-a-job-thing, is that it cuts into my writing. I’m getting up around 5:00 and as soon as I’m out of the shower I power up the laptop and try to write for an hour-and-a-half or so. I also print pages and make some edits on my lunch hour.
As I’ve already mentioned, I finished the second draft and I’m now working on revisions. I also decided to work on my query letter (I’ve blogged about it before, I think) which is a business letter you send out to agents hoping to entice them into requesting a partial (usually the first fifty pages) or a full (the whole manuscript). If the agent likes it (and, almost as important, thinks they can sell it), they will offer representation and you are one step closer to seeing your book on the shelf at Barnes and Noble. They still have to sell it to the publisher, but once they do, it’s time to pop open the champagne.
I posted my query letter in Absolute Write’s Query Letter Hell section. In a query, you have to boil down your whole 350 page book into 250-300 words. Think of a query as a pitch, almost like the back jacket copy of a book. It tells the reader (and in this case, agent) what it’s about but also makes them want to read the book.
I do not ♥ query letters. I would rather write another damn book then finish this query letter.
The problem I encountered in QLH, is that everyone has a different opinion: Some love the title, some didn’t. Some think the second paragraph should have more detail, some didn’t. Some thought the query should focus more on the characters, and their motivation, and some thought it should focus on plot.
Seriously, fifty responses later my eyes were bleeding and my brain hurt trying to absorb it all. I decided to pull back, work on revising the book, and return to the query when it’s closer to the time I’ll need it. But it’s really important and it has to be good.
Now, the really cool thing that happened in QLH, was that I got an offer of a beta read from a published author. She provided great feedback on the query and then shot me a private message saying she liked my premise and would I be interested in letting her read it.
Uh, that’d be yes.
And here’s the thing about Absolute Write. Published writers, some of them NYT bestselling authors, hang out there. Some of them are anonymous and some aren’t. For a huge fangirl like me, this is like the coolest thing ever. . Agents hang out there too but I haven’t posted any of my current book online for a number of reasons, namely that after QLH, I know I would receive feedback that may conflict and do nothing more than confuse me. It’s a great resource, and I have posted in the share your work forum, but not for this book.
Anyway, I am in the process of revising the book and I am breaking it down into fifty page increments. I just sent her the first fifty pages and she sent me a very nice message this morning that did not say:
OMG, I am putting this in my shredder because you suck!
She liked the dual narrative and thought that the first person POV worked perfectly for two characters. She also said the main characters were likeable which is very important and something I tried hard to achieve. I want everyone to really, really, like these two because I want you to root for them later on and you can’t do that if one of them is a total putz.
Anyway, she just started reading and she will be sending the pages back with her feedback and notes. I am still blown away that she would be willing to do this for me and I have no idea how to thank her. I did ask if there might be something of hers she would like me to read (which is kind of like asking a pro basketball player if they want your advice on how to shoot free throws) but she said okay and shot me her latest manuscript.
Hers WILL be on the shelf at Barnes and Noble and when I walk by I’ll be all, “Yeah, I totally already read that – it’s awesome). Her writing is so, so, good so I know I’m in really good hands.
Wow, this post is getting really long: does anyone want to take a break to pee or get something to drink? Sorry…..
Once revisions are complete, I will be sending the MS to my readers: Taylor, Penne, Gillian, Beth, Amy, and my hairdresser’s sister. Oh, and Trish (because she’ll be brutally honest).
I know that this blog isn’t very funny right now, and that a lot of you have read it because it gave you a chuckle or two, but stick with me. I’m getting closer every day to this whole I-want-to-write-and-query-a-book goal. I’ve been working toward it for almost six months and realistically, probably have 3-4 more to go but eventually I will return to blogging about my neighbors and my ‘hood and all the other things I used to blog about.
And I want everyone to know that I appreciate it when you ask me why the hell I haven’t posted because I know that just means you’d like to read something I’ve written and that’s all a writer (published or otherwise) can hope for.
So thanks, and happy Friday dudes!
Peace out,
Tracey
Fiction Friday
I’m sorry I haven’t been doing a better job of blogging. I really meant to but the house has been so nice and quiet with the offspring in school and I’ve been trying hard to finish the second draft of my novel.
I finished about an hour ago.
I also wrote the epilogue, which I hadn’t yet, not even in rough draft form and it made me cry so I hope that’s a good thing. Actually I’ve cried several times when writing this book and I have no idea if that’s normal or not.
I hope it is.
I am feeling pretty good today, now that I’ve reached this point. The book is not done, it still has to be revised and edited and polished and read by those who have graciously offered to give me feedback, but I am really happy to have made it this far.
I printed it out, all 356 pages. They won’t fit in the binder Lauren decorated for me but that’s okay.
I’m just glad I have them.
Have a great holiday weekend everyone!
Tracey
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Trish and I went out last night and for those of you who might not know, she’s my twin sister but we look nothing alike so no one ever believes us.
See? I told you.
Anyway, when we go out together we know we’re going to have a good time because we like our cocktails and neither of us has any kind of filter. We’re probably also going to get in some kind of fight too because we both act like we’re eleven sometimes.
Trish has been asking me all summer to drive to her ‘hood (it’s about a half hour away from mine) and have sushi at this place down the street from her townhouse.
“Oh Tracey, when I left the shop the other day (the shop is my dad’s Honda motorcycle dealership. We’ve called it “the shop” for as long as I can remember), dad said, “TTYL.”
“Oh my God, when I talked to him on the phone he said it before we hung up!” Now for some reason this is cracking me and Trish up. I told her I was going to teach dad some other acronoyms, starting with WTF and she bet me $20 I wouldn’t do it because dad isn’t the type to say bad words (unlike his daughters).