Crack Dip

Every now and then, I look at my blog diagnostics to see the search words and phrases that bring readers to funny in the ‘hood, read by approximately 30 people each day (and I LOVE you folks, by the way).

The two most popular words that are leading people to this blog, at least in the last eight weeks, are CRACK DIP.

I’m not surprised. I’ve blogged about crack dip before, in this post. And since the holidays are upon us, everyone probably wants to take the dip to their office potlucks and holiday parties. My co-worker, Jess, made a batch the other day, just for the hell of it, and we decided crack dip made a fine breakfast indeed. If you’ve never had crack dip, don’t judge. If you have, you’re probably nodding and thinking, “Yeah, I could totally eat that for breakfast.”

If you want to make crack dip, here’s what you need:

Go to Super Target and buy their Archer Farms brand habanero and roasted pineapple dip (it’s in the same aisle as the pickles and olives). Buy three or four jars so you’ll always have it on hand. Dump the whole jar into a medium-sized bowl.

Next, add two packages of Philadelphia brand cream cheese. Leave it out for a couple hours so that it’s very soft. Really mix this together well. You don’t want big chunks of cream cheese, and sometime it helps to use the back of a big spoon to smooth them out.

Use the reduced-fat kind if you want (it won’t affect the awesomeness of the dip). Do not, under any circumstances, use the fat free crap because I’ll be notified telepathically, my head will explode, and zombies will eat my brain. So don’t do that, okay?

After you’ve combined the cream cheese and the habanero and roasted pineapple dip, add an 8 ounce package of shredded Kraft sharp cheddar cheese. Mix well.

This next part is important. You’re going to add diced red onion, but not too much (start with a few tablespoons and add from there). I once thought that if a little red onion was good, a whole lot would be better but all it did was overpower the dip and I had to throw it away and start over which made me cry. So be careful. You can always add a little more, but you can’t take it out once it’s in there.

Mix, cover, and refrigerate for at least an hour. Serve the dip with Ritz crackers. I am partial to the festive snowflake-shaped version during the winter holidays.

No matter where you go, if you bring this dip people will love you. They’ll stand around the bowl raving about it and you’ll have to give everyone the recipe. My friend Wendy gave it to me back in 2008 and I’ve been making it ever since. Occasionally, someone will turn their nose up at crack dip when you tell them what’s in it, but after you force them to try it anyway, they’ll be the one parked next to the bowl shoveling in dip-covered crackers like it’s their job. I guarantee it.

My friend Bethie texted me the other night to ask what kind of salsa you need for the crack dip. My BlackBerry was dead or in my purse or something and I didn’t get the message in time. I knew she wanted to take crack dip to work the next day and I felt bad because even though I texted her back the next morning, it was probably too late for her to make the dip. No worries, though. She texted back that if you google Tracey Garvis Graves crack the recipe comes right up.

*Excellent*

So do me a favor. Make the dip and then come back to this post and leave a comment letting me know if you liked it.

Happy holidays and enjoy!

Tracey