No One Can Say We Don’t Go Balls-Out At Work
Sometimes I struggle to come up with a topic to blog about. Those of you who have been with me from the beginning probably remember the good old days when I blogged about my ____ or my _____ or other. In other words, when I shared my embarrassing moments funny stories with you. I know this blog has been sort of focused on my book lately, and I feel bad that my posts aren’t always of a humorous nature. This blog is called funny in the ‘hood, after all.
But sometimes, if I’m lucky, blog posts practically write themselves and my fingers fly across the keyboard because the words are coming out so fast I can barely keep up.
This is one of those times.
I work with some really great people who are not only smart, and helpful, and kind, they’re a freaking laugh-riot.
Seriously, these girls are a comic gold mine.
So when Kendra walked in the other day with a half-eaten container of cheese balls and announced, “My girls wouldn’t eat these so I brought them in for us” I should have known it was about to become one giant, collaborative stand up routine.
First of all, we fell on those balls like rabid dogs. With a sales pitch like Kendra’s who wouldn’t? We couldn’t get our fingers covered in day-glo cheese fast enough, despite that fact that it was, like, 9:03 a.m.
We’ve been eating these balls all week and I decided to document the hilarity via a series of quotes scribbled hastily on post-it notes and stuck all over my desk. I took several high-quality photos with my BlackBerry, too.
You’re welcome, Internet.
Here’s what the jar looked like a day or two after Kendra brought them in. Add a diet coke and you’ve got the breakfast of champions.
“Did you know they’re gluten free? Says so right here on the jar so it must be true. There are 832 balls in the jar and there’s 2% dietary fiber per serving,” Kendra informed us. “Probably no one should eat that many,” I pointed out.
“I don’t know if I can handle balls for breakfast,” I said. Karen tried to sell me on them. “They go really well with coffee.”
The lid to the jar makes a handy plate.
“The inside of my mouth is starting to hurt from sucking on all these balls,” Kendra said. “My fingers are getting so messy,” Jess added.
By Thursday, I was wondering how we were going to get all these balls eaten. “I don’t know if I can look at these balls one more day,” I said.
Look, they’re everywhere.
Kendra: “We’ll be fixed in our goal, flexible in our approach.”
Me: “What? Where the hell did you hear that psychobabble?”
There are vampire-boys roaming the employee cafeteria. There’s free coffee, tea, and, occasionally, all the krispy kremes you can stuff in your piehole.
And an almost bottomless container of balls.
Top that, world.
Kendra keeps me updated on the whole Demi/Ashton situation. I can’t tell you what ______ is, but I know if Demi’s getting too skinny or if Ashton has a love child (he totally does).
