And The Honest Scrap Award Goes To…….

Hey guess what? Despite my utter inability to get a single post written in the last two weeks I still have an award to post on this blog, courtesy of Funny Girl Goes Blog . The fact that she gave me the award months ago isn’t stopping me from finally fulfilling my award duties though. Hey, better late than never I always say.

I’m supposed to tell you ten true things about myself that no one else knows. Since I’ve told everyone for more than they ever wanted to know about me in the first place, I’m not even sure I can come up with ten new things. Yet here they are:

1) I am working on my second novel. I submitted two chapters of my first book to an online writer’s forum I frequent and while they said my writing was solid and the mechanics were fine, they also told me my chapters were boring and that I needed to structure the book differently.

Ouch.

I took the criticism to heart though and when I read the pages again, I could see what they meant. In the meantime, I had an idea for another book that I liked even better so I shoved the pages of the first book in a folder and started the second. I think I’ve been able to avoid the mistakes I made with the first book because of the constructive criticism the writers on the forum gave me. I may have 47 crappy unfinished novels shoved in a folder by the time I’m done but submitting a manuscript to an editor is on my bucket list and I will cross it off someday. Oh, and every day I print the pages of my current work-in-progress, three hole punch them, and put them in a white binder that Lauren decorated with kitty stickers because I am all high tech like that.

2) I like Coke versus Pepsi products, specifically diet coke. I will drink diet pepsi if I have to but I won’t like it and I’ll probably complain. I frequently have the Coke vs. Pepsi debate with my dad and my friend Stefani and so far we are at an impasse because no one is budging. I drink one diet coke a day, always with lunch.

3) I am fascinated by Mt. Everest and the people who climb it. I have watched countless shows about it on the Discovery Channel and I know all the different places the climbers reach on their quest for the summit. I don’t want to climb Mt. Everest, but I love watching others do it. I also love the book Into The Air by Jon Krakauer which chronicles the tragic events that occurred in a race for the summit in May of 1996.

4) I don’t like to travel because I can’t stand sleeping in hotels. This didn’t use to bother me but as I’ve gotten older, I can barely stand it. It doesn’t help that I read articles in the newspaper about the resurgence of bedbugs (why media, why?) and I can’t help but think about all the people who have done God knows what in the bed I am sleeping in. Shudder.

5) I like to listen to music really loud and I have always had the best stereo system I could afford (except now because I don’t want to damage the offspring’s ears). I’m pretty sure I already have significant hearing loss in one or possibly both ears. I was working out on an elliptical machine at the gym the other day and I had my 70’s super playlist cranked as loud as it would go which is why I didn’t hear the guy who came right up to me and grabbed my arm which made me scream. He thought I was his wife. I’m pretty sure I scared the crap out of him and now he can’t hear either but it’s totally his fault because he shouldn’t go around touching other men’s wives at the gym.

6) King cobra snakes scare the piss out of me. I can’t even watch Rikki-Tikki-Tavi even though it’s animated and has a happy ending.

7) I have to wash the outside of all fruits and vegetables, even things like cantaloupe and watermelon, before I will cut them and eat them. When I see people peel the sticker off their apple and eat it without washing it I’m practically apoplectic. When customers at the grocery store put their fresh produce in the grocery cart without putting it in a plastic bag first I stare at them openly and have to restrain myself from going over to them and saying, “You know that grocery cart is a holy fucking cesspool of germs, right? And, just out of curiosity, are you going to wash that before you eat it?

8) I should really have a hair power of attorney because I cannot be trusted to make good hair decisions on my own. If my hairstyle garners any compliments whatsoever, rest assured that, at my next hair appointment, I will fuck it all up by asking my hairdresser to do exactly the opposite of whatever she did that made it look so good, i.e. if it’s highlighted I’ll make it darker, if it’s long and layered and wavy I’ll hack it off and wear it all one length and straight.

9) I love watching Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, especially the shark attack files which sounds really morbid but it’s not like I have a time machine people. By the time I’m watching Shark Week, these people have already been bitten and/or killed. Unfortunately, I may have accidentally scared the crap out of the offspring because they like Shark Week too and have informed me that they will never, ever swim in the ocean. That’s okay though. The three of us can hang out on the beach scanning the waves for schools of bait fish and dorsal fins while Dave and everyone else swims. Discovery Channel? I’m sorry. Ocean swimmers? You’re welcome.

10) I like Glen Campbell and have several of his songs on my ipod. I don’t even care how unbelievably queer that makes me sound. Glen Campbell reminds me of growing up in the seventies and his music is pure nostalgia. My friend Ivetta and I made up a dance to “Southern Nights” for the school talent show when we were in 5th grade but we chickened out and didn’t perform. “Rhinestone Cowboy” will always remind me of my friend Ben because it is one of his karaoke songs and “Wichita Lineman” reminds me of my friend Bobbi because her husband Travis is a Lineman and I have been known to sing “I am a lineman for the county….” when we are having lunch together. I can’t help myself. My favorite Glen Campbell song is “Country Boy” (You’ve Got Your Feet In LA).

Now I just have to pick ten of my blogging buddies and let them know they have received this prestigious award. And to those that I choose? Don’t feel like you have to do this immediately, or at all if it’s not your thing. I just want you to know that I want to learn ten new things about you. Because I’m nosy.

I will be notifying the award recipients as soon as I compile my list of lucky winners.

Here are the rules for this award:

1. “The Honest Scrap” award is not one to hold all to yourself. It must be shared!

2. The recipient has to tell 10 true things about themselves in their blog that no one else knows.

3. The recipient has to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers.

4. Those 10 bloggers all have to be notified they have been given this award.

5. Those 10 bloggers should link back to the blog that awarded them