Is anyone wondering where the hell I’ve been?

Dear blogosphere in general and my readers in particular,

Hi. I’m not dead!

If you’ve been wondering why I seemed to have disappeared it’s because:

A) I was carried off by a dingo
B) I fell down a well (a big one, not a little one like baby Jessica fell into in 1987). Obviously.
C) My Internet connection exploded
D) I got a job.

If you picked D, you’re the big winner!!!!!

Let me be the first to say, I’m not totally sure how this happened. I mean, I remember the general process. A friend told me about some available jobs, I went to the website, filled out a lengthy application and uploaded my resume, had an interview, passed the reference and background checks (I know!), and was offered a job. Which I accepted.

I am now working in our school district as a Paraeducator which is just a fancy way of saying teacher’s associate which is also just a fancy way of saying teacher’s helper.

I’m working with older students. It’s like the universe sucked me in and then crapped me back out right into a John Hughes movie. I’m pretty sure I spend 7th hour with the kids from The Breakfast Club except now they’re all wearing Abercrombie.

I won’t be able to blog about my job. Frankly, I’m surprised funny in the ‘hood didn’t get me dooced before I even started. And I certainly don’t want to get canned for violating student confidentiality guidelines.

You’re probably wondering how I ended up working at a school (because God knows I am). It’s not for the money, although I was formerly making zero dollars an hour and if you look at it from that perspective, I just got a nice raise. There are two main reasons I accepted the position. First, if the offspring are at school then I am too. If the offspring are home, so am I. I also have all the holiday breaks, early outs, and snow days off so Dave and I never have to worry about someone being home with the kids. Dave puts them on the bus in the morning and I’m home when they get off the bus in the afternoon. It’s taken a little adjusting but Dave assures me “It’s not hard at all Tracey, it’s really going quite well.” I imagine it is going smoothly considering I have every single thing organized and ready for every living person in this house, including Dave, before I walk out the door at 7:00AM. The second thing I like about this job is that it is somewhat temporary. I’m technically unemployed again when school gets out next May and if I don’t want to go back, I won’t. If the job market ever fully recovers I wouldn’t mind finding a part-time job in my field which is/was Human Resources and Information Technology recruiting. But for now, things are going okay. I am fortunate to be able to choose what I want to do and what I think is best for my family.

Now that I have a job, I am feeling very productive which is something I was lacking in last year when the offspring were at school all day and I was home alone. I’ll be the first to admit that I had acquired a pretty severe Internet addiction, one that kept me online for hours each day. I wasn’t as bad as those people you hear about that sit on a stool in front of a slot machine for so long they pee right in their pants but that’s probably only because there’s a bathroom ten steps away from my computer and I didn’t have to worry about anyone sliding onto my stool and stealing my triple 7’s jackpot.

I’d rather spend all day writing on my blog, reading other people’s blogs, and leaving lengthy comments on them. Ditto Facebook and e-mail. But the time has come to get off my ass and do something and so far, I’m feeling pretty good about my decision. My only regret is that I may not have as much time to write and blog. Hopefully, as I become even more efficient and get used to my new schedule, I will still be able to post a couple times a week.

So, even though my job is low paying, there are often BAD SMELLS, and it’s pretty much a given that I’ll come down with H1N1 at some point, I’m pretty happy right now. I may change my mind in November when I’m in the death throes of the flu.

When that happens, please send Kleenex and wine.

And don’t forget about funny in the ‘hood either.

Sure I’m busy. But I’m not dead.

P.S. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend! We are going to Tom and Amy’s lake house for one last hurrah.

P.P.S. They only reason I was able to write this post today is because I’m home taking care of Matthew. He has a raging case of strep throat and I feel sorry for my little buddy. We went back to the doctor for the second time and he should be fine by tomorrow.

P.P.P.S. Children’s illnesses = blog posts.

P.P.P.P.S. Cold and flu season is just around the corner so perhaps blog post volume will actually increase?

P.P.P.P.P.S. Will be spending meager paychecks on doctor co-pays and not designer purses.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Curses, foiled again.