Flashback Friday – Safety First or My Parents Were Crazy, You Decide

Yes I know I blew off Flashback Friday last week. It was partly because of my heinous garage sale and partly because I’m running out of pictures. I mean, I can show you snapshots of Stacy’s seventh grade slumber party where we’re all wearing our “7th graders do it better” t-shirts or pictures from 8th grade science camp but will those be entertaining to you? I’m not sure. And some of my friends promised to send me pictures for Flashback Friday yet I still haven’t received anything (losers!) so let’s blame them, K?

Anyway, I was looking through some old photo albums that my dad gave me and I found a few pictures I kind of liked:

For example, when the offspring were born, Dave and I placed them, rear facing, in the back seat in infant car seats that required an engineering degree to install. Yet my parents felt comfortable putting Trish and I in the front seat of my mom’s Corvair. Even though we are in some kind of car seat, I do not see any buckles or harnesses and would bet money that those seats aren’t attached to the car in any way.

“Um, hello? An object in motion tends to remain in motion so if you hit something mom, Trish and I are going flying.”

In this next picture, my dad is participating in the ever popular balancing a baby on one hand.

“George, put her down, you’re going to drop her!” “Oh calm down Patty, we’ve got a spare.”

“Help, this cat is gonna sit on my head, suffocate me, and then eat me!”

Oh look, someone thought it would be funny to stick buckets on the helpless twins.

This? This right here? Explains a lot. And makes me wonder if alcohol was involved.

My mom died when I was eighteen so I love looking at old pictures of her. My mom would totally love this blog. If she were alive I’d let her guest blog and I’d post pictures of us doing crazy things. I can only hope there’s Internet access in heaven and she has read my blog and is laughing her ass off. And if there’s no Internet access in heaven then I don’t want to go but if there’s no wine in hell then I can’t go there either so I’ll go to heaven after all but if there’s no Internet or wine in heaven then I want to be reincarnated immediately as a six foot tall Sports Illustrated supermodel and if that’s not possible then freeze my head in one of those cryogenic thingies but someone please put vodka in there with me because when you wake me up I’m going to need alcohol because I’ll be a head without a body and that’s kinda fucked up.

As always, thanks in advance.